Sweet Sixteen-in God years

Today being my birthday, my spiritual birthday that is, calls me to reflect on my journey of faith up until this point.  Hopefully the journey, which has undoubtedly gained mileage, is still no closer to the end of the road.  If I am ever to feel that I have completed all the strides necessary to draw nearer to the Father, than LORD HELP ME! 

I have learned a lot in the past 16 years.  When I reached the "age of discernment" (whatever that may be) my parents helped me to progress in my decision making process of taking on the Lord in baptism by offering a dear friend to study with me.  She is, to this day like family to me, and I am thankful for the discussions we had which led to my knowing the Father more personally.  In addition, camp was always my most spiritually influential experience where I believe I learned to hear God's voice more clearly.  But these things did not immediately bring about a decided movement in me to walk the aisle in church on any given Sunday.  I was waiting. 

I believed from a young age that Jesus was and is the Son of God, and that he died and rose, and even today forgives sins of the repentant.  So why wait?  I was waiting for some moment that everyone said would come--when I would just KNOW.  Being the passionate pre-teen that I was, everything I did was emotionally driven.  I didn't know what emotional transformation I was waiting for, but then one Sunday morning I was overcome.  The Spirit of the Lord moved in me.  Physically, I could tell something inside me was changing, and my head voice seemed as loud as the singing in service.  "So this is it...this is what THAT feels like".   

I was a kid lacking the self-confidence to walk the aisle and profess this to the nation that was my church on a whim.  So, I went home and told my parents about my decision and that I wished it to be a much milder affair: perhaps on a Thursday night with simply the support of loved ones present.  That now, seems perhaps too carefully thought out for such an emotionally impulsive girl. 

I praise God for my conversion into a vessel of his Spirit, and I also praise Him that I have since learned that he speaks to us through many forms, and I need not wait for any specific method of messaging he may use.  Although, I would love a loud speaker, or for Him to, as my sister says, "write on the dust of my car", I am called only to wait upon the Lord.  Be still.  Be it a wave of goosebumps or truly--a passing butterfly--I know He is with me.  And he has provided my self-confidence-in His name.  Even if I am only sixteen....